Drugged and abused by my husband

“Babe. I am miserable and I cannot take this anymore. I want a divorce.” I had been feeling miserable for nearly two years, constantly begging him to go for marriage counselling with me, but he refused. This was back in 2009. He had become so distant and reclusive, never spending any family time with me and our little boy. He would spend an unusual amount of time in his workshop instead, working on his hobbies, almost obsessively. He would only come to bed in the early hours of the morning and I could never understand how he managed to stay awake for that long. Until he responded to my declaration, and said, “Janine, I think I know why you have been feeling this way. I have a confession to make. I have been using Crystal Meth for the last two years.” At first I wasn’t all that shocked, as I was aware of my husband’s history of occasional marijuana use, and merely replied by suggesting he go for rehab, but that I still wanted a divorce.

But then the real shocker came, when he said, “But Janine, there is something else. I have been drugging you with Crystal Meth for the last year.” He explained it was not his intention to harm me, but rather to ‘bring us closer together’. He thought it would improve my libido, so that we could be intimate more often. He would simply sprinkle a little powdered Meth into my drinks on the odd occasion. Perhaps a couple of times a week. Nothing hectic. You know.

I was mortified, to say the least. He chose to take my power away from me so that he could control me for his own personal gain. Why? Does Crystal Meth do that to you? Does it affect your cognitive ability to reason and rationalise? Not only was the act devious in itself, it was criminal. So why did I not press charges? Because I still loved him. And I was naïve. And I sincerely believed that he would get help and stop using. I supported him throughout his drug counselling, but my feelings about my failed marriage had not changed, and the damage had already been done. And when I asked for a divorce again several months later, out of spite, he spiked my drink again. I realised this, when during that particular morning, I was feeling exceptionally alert, with terrible heart palpitations. I went to SANCA immediately for a drug test, which came back positive. After that, I sought drug and divorce counselling with well-known Dr Elize Beeby in Cape Town. She put me on a detox programme, just to ensure my body was not becoming addicted to the drugs my husband had given me. But strangely, the only effect I remember it having on me at the time my husband was drugging me, was my mood swings and my unusual new hobby and obsession with online dating, due to my increased libido.

Now here’s the kicker. At the time my husband claimed to have been drugging me, I started using a new slimming pill, called Simply Slim. Simply Slim was wonderful. It helped me lose weight, it gave me loads of energy, it kept me awake at night, and, to put it mildly, it sent my hormones into overdrive. It also gave me a very dry mouth, to the point that I was developing mouth ulcers beyond the extreme. Simply Slim was subsequently removed from the market. The ingredient, Bitter Orange Extract is known to have the same characteristics of Ephedrine but in an “all-natural” form. What I realised afterwards, is that Crystal Meth has the same affect, so I was consuming a double dose of Ephedra, without even knowing it.

After finally serving him with the divorce papers in 2010, I could not afford to move out, and had to endure a lot of psychological and emotional abuse from my soon-to-be ex-husband. He smashed my laptop, poured drain acid over half my wardrobe, wet me with the hosepipe at night, terrorised me, stalked me, woke me up about seven times a night, locked me out of the house, stopped contributing financially, called me the most horrible names, including his personal favourite, “mother fucker”, and threated to kill me. He would hide the car keys, or remove a cable, so that I couldn’t go anywhere. The final straw came when he destroyed the electronics, took the wheels off, took the lock out of the door, and filed the car keys down, so that there was no way I could have the car repaired. All this, to take my power away and control me and get back at me for wanting to leave him.

I was very frightened of him, sometimes going into panic attacks. He had no respect for my boundaries, and didn’t understand the word ‘no’ or ‘stop’. I eventually took out a protection order against him, but for him to be arrested and locked up he would have had to get physically abusive with me, which he never did. And every time the police would show up, his behaviour was somewhat grandiose and pompous, which I couldn’t fathom out. I remember, on one occasion, him even admitting to the police that he was using Crystal, saying, “Can you blame me, having to live with this …” The police eventually got tired of all my calls – as domestic violence is on the bottom of their list of ‘calls to action’. So for my own self-preservation, I moved out in March 2011, with my 6-year old child, with no permanent job and no vehicle. I had to hire a vehicle for two months before I could afford to buy my own vehicle, maxing out my credit card and having to borrow money from family. It didn’t stop him from harassing me and terrorising me though. Even a year after my divorce went through in August 2011. I had to call the police on numerous occasions to remove him from my property. I can honestly say, that of all the traumatic experiences that I have had in my life (and believe me, I have had quite a few in my 45 years), this one tops it. Because it is not the person you are dealing with. It’s the drug. And the effects of drugs are unpredictable.

Side effects of Crystal Meth

Beside the physical effects of Meth, the psychological effects were the most traumatising for me. Short-term effects can include euphoria, anxiety, increased libido, raised self-esteem and self-confidence, aggression, grandiosity (and he had plenty of that), hallucinations, excessive feelings of power and invincibility. Over an extended period of time, Crystal Methamphetamine use can lead to a host of serious health risks, severe depression, violent behaviour and suicide. It is said that over 20% of people addicted to methamphetamine develop a long-lasting psychosis resembling schizophrenia after quitting the drug. This condition persists for longer than six months and is often treatment resistant.

There is so much more I could share, but that would take a book – which I am busy writing. Bottom line: Trying to divorce or leave a Crystal Meth addict is not an easy endeavour. But with a lot of grit, tenacity, a will to survive and support from my friends and family, I succeeded. I am happy again, and my ex-husband appears to have stopped or slacked down with the drugs. I will never really know the truth. We are civil to one another at least, even cracking jokes from time to time (pardon the pun) – but I will never trust him again. I have lost all respect for him The experience has only made me that much stronger and wiser. Have I forgiven him? Yes. That was the only way for me to heal. Have I forgotten the life’s lessons I have learned? Not a chance!